Today is “Leap Day” — an extra day of the year that rolls around every four years. I woke this morning thinking, “Thank goodness I have one more day before month-end! I can finish building those two computers I’ve been working on, update the mailing list, schedule the tours, get those books ordered, do my homework…” Before I knew it, I’d probably listed off a week’s worth of work for this one “extra” day.
Instead of launching directly into my massive (and frankly ridiculous) “to do” list, I decided to start with a loving kindness meditation for myself, for my friends, for those I know, and today (for the first time) for those I may not agree with but who are equally deserving of loving kindness.
I assure you, that last one is a toughie if you’ve never tried it. Yet strangely, I found it was easier to offer loving kindness to those I disagree with, than to myself.
When I am struck with those strange, “I am not worthy” moments during meditation, I find it is helpful to remember what The Buddha said:
You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.